It’s not that I don’t get a lot done. Every day I check item after item off my neverending to-do list. But it’s not a long list of completed randomosities I want.
I want a real project, or better yet passion to throw myself into and roll around in.
An image just flashed up on my mind’s screen. Did any of you see that film about the artist Jackson Pollack? Ed Harris was magical in the role. Pollack is working on an abstract, flicking paints of all colors off his brushes onto a huge canvas. Wild-eyed. Panting. He pressed on as if the completed work would be his salvation.
So now I’m sitting here wandering within and wondering about myself.
Thinking about some of my old dreams. In my teens I dreamed of having my own magazine. In my twenties and thirties I wanted a coffeebar slash Internet cafe slash Open Mike space. Actually I still think of that one off and on. Every time I pass a theater I’m a kid wanting to be an actress again. Know what else I would love to try? Motivational speaker. I love to cheer folks on.
Here’s my stop.
Amazing how worked up I can get on a subway ride